But first an apology for the blasphemy, a certainty that the Baby Jesus never conceived the notion of a “tax credit”.  Sorry, little guy, you’re still the best.  

If only you could return to solve the two wars ping-pong game, a planet doing a slow burn, and a nation unwilling to acknowledge the health of its citizens, none of which is as important as my favorite athlete morphing from cereal box idolatry to tabloid serial sex addict, faster than a downhill twenty foot putt.  Apparently no one else has sinned, although I’m quite willing to admit I have.

Our year as actual people (Lynn and myself) was quite unspectacular….read this; boring.  The only ho, ho, ho this year is a big ho-hum.   We did, however, attempt to provide the engine of economic prosperity for dozens of genuine craftspersons.

1. Major restoration of the 1881 barn; a seven week, four Amishmen crew restructuring the foundation and exterior under the expert guise of Amos Schwartz, the PBS guru of barns.    

Before……….during………after

2. Complete stripping of a dozen coats of aged paint to bare wood on the 1855/1871 farmhouse, replacement of deteriorated slats (still attached with forged nails), priming, then repainting to 19th century glory.  Accomplished artisans, Kerry and Ruth Burrgren, worked for six arduous months, along with their dog Scooby, to achieve a phenomenal result.

Before……….during………after

3. Exterior renovation, and log replacement of the DeTour cabin by experts, Fred Mansfield, Logs-R-Us, and his competent sidekick, Sean. Nearly complete, the finishing touches will be applied in May, 2010.       

Before, exhibiting the effect of wind, rain, and sun

4. Ongoing restoration of the 1967 MB Universal station wagon, soon to be completed by good pal, noted graphic artist and restorer, Don Drabik, Cherry City Classics of Traverse City, MI.

Stately, underpowered, coachbuilt, like a fine supermarket boxed wine

So that’s it.  

Yawn. 

Lynn and I, along with loyal companion pet, Jack, have duplicated our template of previous years.  Again.  

The number of darling grandchildren remains at five, all doing well, as perfect as Garrison Keillor or Norman Rockwell can describe, either on air or on canvas. I won’t tell you about ours if I don’t have to listen to the accolades about yours.  

Deal ?  (the Dr. Phil buzzword of 2009)

Ditto on the the health front, as we encounter issues traceable to aging.  

Although I’ve made a legitimate effort to reduce our garage inventory, several old examples have crept into the stable, or as Lynn describes, “followed me home”.  The barn repairs miraculously created room for a second, near perfect, vintage trailer. 

25 y/o in repose, awaiting mice and raccoon friends

I plan to go into the ‘relapse anonymous’ recovery program as soon as the world issues TW a get-out-of-jail-free card. We wish all of you a Merry Christmas and thank you for the genuine cards and letters we receive during the holidays.  In spite of my fondness for our USPS mail-lady, the joy of handwritten letters, and a reverence for Hallmark cards, we continue this disgusting, devoid of warmth, e-greeting of cyber crumbs.

So help me Jesus.   

Jack and Chas. visiting two-dimensional friends, Big Bay, MI

Jack and Lynn relaxing in DeTour with a romance novel

* Don’t center your holiday on gift giving *

Amy Dacyczyn