From our holiday letter, a Christmas past, little has changed.
Ah yes, zero visibility, howling wind, and an arctic clipper courtesy of the TWC storm d’jour. I’m reminded of the iconic Burl Ives compelling us to have a ”holly, jolly Christmas” as my 5 HP snow thrower rumbles past the large holly bush.
Yesterday, 17Dec2013, the bush, the granary, 8″ snow
For those who might enjoy a sprig of branches and berries, they are available, free, under the popular “u-pick” format, no limit. Note our GPS reading, Lat. 41.7222, Long. 86.3497, Elev. 725′. Although no biblical documentation exists, the three wise men, too, must have had a Garmin or how else could they have traveled the great distance from the east and managed to locate the baby Jesus?
My holiday speculation; the star of Bethlehem was the first TV satellite.
Fast forward three years.
Lynn remains stable, yet fragile, as we prepare to celebrate by sharing our new holiday tree, made of re-bar. Yes, the identical reinforced steel rods used to stabilize concrete bridges. Enough, please, enough of this sentimental, tear producing tangent, before we all lose it.
3′ high, created by Karen Ruihley, the artiste sister of our brother-in-law, relatively speaking. Imagine what a Lincoln arc welder and an acetylene torch can do in the hands of a genius. Alert; maintain a safe distance when she’s armed with a chain saw.
Christmas portrait, 2013
Bottom: L-R, the Re-Bar tree, the Jack, the Chas
The Grinch, in my estimation, was sappier than a Hallmark card, a real softie. Sure, I may have the personality of a walk-in refrigerator, promising no one a gift exchange, other than donations to the grandchildren’s education. The economy, should it depend on my ilk ( be assured, others cringe at Christmas), would croak louder than an opera bullfrog.
The fat lady would be unemployed.
On food stamps.
Please, insist on observing the constitutional separation of church and retail. That applies to Santa, who, receiving residual annuities from every major advertiser, needs to start paying taxes. And go on a diet for the grossly obese to reduce his blood pressure and A1C levels, while a bunch of underpaid, non-union, dwarfs do all the work. Scoundrel.
The guy is 3 to 4 hundred years old, can’t afford a Gillette razor, eats chocolate, and never gets older. He’s making a list and checking it twice? Huh? After centuries of practice, he can’t get it right the first time….add senility to his medical profile. Time to do a transportation upgrade too. Pan fry that wretched herd of hat racks, including the alcoholic leader with the inflamed red nose.
You may have discerned that I am imbued (whatever that word means) with the holiday spirit, no bahs, no humbugs, while cozily enveloped in the warmth of burning embers from the fireplace, so please join along as I croon that old Bing Crosby holiday favorite;
“I’m dreaming of a white tire iron…..”
Bill D. says
Repeating the sound of joy:
“From our holiday letter, a Christmas past , little has changed.” Except that the once 6.5 HP snowblower now seems weaker: a 5 HP snow thrower.
What, no humbugs? (Let’s not disappoint helen!)
Lord Buckley had the bug hummin’ in him when he laid down the story of Scrooge:
Chas, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you, Lynn, Jack, and the Re-Bar Tree!
Rich Luhr says
I get the sense I’m going on the “Naughty” list just for reading this! It probably didn’t help that I snickered the entire time …