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Unraveling while traveling

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Unraveling while traveling; life between the windshield and the rear-view mirror

Jan 15 2011

Binge Driving

…can be more intoxicating than a collegiate drinking marathon.  We’ve all done it.  You start early, determined to travel from point A to destination B in a prescribed time frame; in this instance 2000 miles in less than four full days. Towing a trailer is a minus, inhibiting speed for safety, but a plus when reducing chances for DWI (driving while impaired), as the sensory feel of four tons tethered to your backside is an effective antidote to a road burn induced coma.

Jack and I are traveling a capella in a Chevy truck with a season full of personal ‘stuff’, headed for the Mexican border. 

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Farewell from a forlorn excella, now under 36″ of snow 

No trailer this winter, the planned route is influenced by the weather channel.  The tedium begins less than two hundred miles out of the gate, on the flatland of central Illinois.  A welcome weather anomaly brightens an otherwise innocuous ride on Interstate-55.  It is a rare sub-freezing morning fog, only 24° F and the horizon, if it exists at all, has become a seamless pearl white mist.  Red tail hawks seek the highest point on iced trees, and in the translucent distance, the faint outline of blue ceramic Butler silos punctuate successful farms.  You can find red, white, and blue, nearly everywhere, if you take time to look, a grateful reminder that a dull driving day in the USA is an elixir for the soul….where else would I rather be ?

Nearing Springfield, IL, home to the nexus of Lincoln heritage, I’m passed by a Subaru Outback.  Both driver and passenger are 20 something males, and the SUV sports a Hawaii license plate.  Really.  In the middle of the midwestern prairie, from the 50th state, birthplace of a current president working hard to emulate Honest Abe. The chance glimpse of this plate triggers an hour of random thought, and 65 miles of boredom slips through the tread of Goodyear Marathons.

A lunch of rainier cherries, salted almonds and diet Squirt means no stopping, no high fats to precipitate the bobble-head doll syndrome, every four hours these blues brothers only stop to pee and fuel up with $3.59/gal diesel.

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Jack, proudly posing in his newly earned vest 

The interstate has become the skeletal system of the country__passage through the arteries, the metaphorical blood of goods, people, trucks and cars___allowing us (as an anonymous writer once remarked) to travel coast-to-coast without seeing anything.The capillaries, the blue highways, are the real exchange of O² and CO², the lifeline for the weary traveler.  Jack and I will soon find our favored westerly path, US 54, bucking the headwind across the great plains.  

Look out Linda, here we come.

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Prairie Folk Art; “Linda”, as elusive as “Mustang Sally”

Written by InsightOut · Categorized: musings, on the road, Uncategorized

Dec 15 2010

….Heaven and Nature Sing

a Christmas greeting for 2010.

Ah yes, in the form of zero visibility, howling wind, and an arctic clipper courtesy of Saint Nick.  I’m reminded of the iconic, obese Burl Ives compelling us to have a ” holly, jolly Christmas” as my 6.5 HP snowblower rumbles past the large holly bush by the barn.dscn5997.JPG

For those of you who might enjoy a sprig of branches and berries, they are available, free, under the popular “u-pick” format, no limit.  Note our GPS reading, Lat. 41.7222, Long. 86.3497, Elev. 725′.   Although no biblical documentation exists, the three wise men, too, must have had a Garmin or how else could they have traveled such a great distance from the east and managed to locate the baby Jesus ?

My holiday speculation; the star of Bethlehem was the first satellite.

Christmas will once again be overshadowed by the bowl season, the annual ritual of the flying butt bump in the end zone (origin;  ten lords a leaping), punctuated by the high-step, fingers pointed to heaven, slow-motion primal dance after every play.  Tribal behavior, even to celebrate a 2 yard loss, by gifted, tattooed, over-paid athletes. When you think it can’t get any better, endless interpretations of what once was referred to as “The Star Spangled Banner”, mangled by vocalists in the land of the freeeEEE, and the eternal, overdone halftime entertainment sponsored by the corporation du jour.

Mute.

Although 20% of us are unemployed or under-employed, the economy in a prolonged deep freeze, we have more to be thankful for than the millions in Darfur, Haiti, and all of central and southern Asia.  Our lives (Lynn, dog Jack, and myself) met with a new, unanticipated challenge this year, minor in comparison to many, and hence, away from the realm of a Christmas greeting.  What I can share is advice when thinking you have your life in order:

You’ve overlooked something.

Below, in late August, 2010, on our beach in northern Michigan

dscn5345.JPGwe take the time to contemplate the future.


 

 

racing for a milkbone is in Jack’s future

Our master plan was to have Lynn attend to my every need in aging as I qualified by gender (male), age (100 months her senior) and demeanor (surly).  That may, however, change over time so her thoughtful Christmas gift to me…don’t try guessing (insert drum roll), I get to attend:

Nursing Home Fantasy Camp

  • Mah-Jongg strategy; how to pong and chow elderly Jewish widows by sidestepping piety, sincerity, and benevolence
  • How to cheat at church bingo; neutralize surveillance cameras, bribe the caller
  • Mobility chair racing for fun and profit; improve pit-stop performance, finish first in the buffet line
  • Lunch with 3rd tier celebs, Dick Clark, Suzanne Somers, and Dick VanDyke
  • Special guest appearance by Betty White, on her subject, “How Best to Take a Nap”

How best to return the favor, aha, Lynn will receive a $25 gift card from our favorite Rochester, MN restaurantdscn5260.JPGwhich, by no accident posts the followingdscn5262.JPG

Our lives are truly enriched and we are grateful.  Adding a sixth grandchild, a blue-eyed Irish princess, Alannah Rose, in August, we plan to meet her up-close and personal in February 2011. The balance of our extended family in New Mexico, Chicago, Ireland, and South Bend are firing on all eight cylinders.dscn5511.JPG

Above, our queen, doing her Vanna White presentation in Traverse City, MI, Sept 16, 2010.  She doesn’t appear to be unwell.

Repeat, repeat the sounding joy.  Merry Christmas

Written by InsightOut · Categorized: Christmas 2010

Nov 24 2010

The Truckstop, and Billy Newsom

Driving 1000 miles on interstates over the past three days, primarily through northern Illinois, Iowa, and southern Minnesota, not a single Jackson Center product was seen being towed.  Not surprising with temperatures in the mid-teens, snowbirds have already won the race with the sandhill cranes and the Canadian geese on the migration south before Thanksgiving.  

There are, however, 100s of trucks, semis, and over-the-road warriors every hour.  What I found interesting is that few firms refer to themselves as truck companies.  Even truckers proudly (and euphemistically) call themselves teamsters although it is unlikely any driver has ever handled the reins of two or more horses at one time.  

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This is a contagious disease, as common today as when a politician will look straight into a network camera and say, “my previous statement was the result of cognitive dissonance, i.e., a misstatement released by my publicist in error”.  

Translation:  I lied.  

The FED chairman, staid Ben Bernanke, is equally guilty when, seated behind a microphone, testifying to a bevy of bored congressmen, he comments that “the reserve has opted for quantitative easement to counteract the debt crisis”.

Translation: I’m printing more money.  

The committee yawns.

So I take an opportunity to stop at what is hailed as World’s Largest Truck Stop, near Walcott, IA.  Although not shopping for chrome or seeking a wash at the TruckoMat, I decided to cruise the lot to find a 53′ semi trailer labeled a truck.  Not as easy as you might think.  It took 47 to finally locate a rig marked Billy Newsome Truck Lines*.  

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Here’s what you see instead:

  • Expedited  Freight Systems
  • Buchanan Hauling and Rigging
  • C & W Gooseneck Services
  • Watson Freight Management
  • Magnum Logistics
  • Integrated Logistic Systems
  • International Logistics Express

Logistic seems to be a buzzword in this monster lot, although transport, transit, transportation, consolidated, and LLC are quite popular too.  Ignoring the saturation of JBHunt, Werner, England, and WalMart, I head straight to my cellphone and dial 1-888-TRUCKIN.

In the back of my mind I hear the refrain of the Grateful Dead blues-rock anthem, “truckin” and the following conversation ensues:

“Gudaftanoon, Billy Newsome Trucking, mayihepyou ?”

“Yes, may I speak with Billy ?”

“Juneyor or Seenyor ?”

” Either one would be o.k.”

“Well BigBilly is ovuh at his sistahs havin’ coffee, but LilBilly is rut heah beside me, I’ll put him on”

“Billy heah, canIhepyou ?”

“Yes, please, why did you name your company Billy Newsome Trucking ?”

“Cuz thatz what we do, truck.  We haul salvage, wood debris, and agricultural waste, but we’re here to serve.  Why ya askin ?”

” I was just curious, but also to thank you being clear, precise, unambiguous, and avoiding euphemism”

“Not sure what all that means, but you’re welcome, call anytime”

Yes, this is the world’s biggest truck stop, and yes, America moves by truck, but don’t be surprised the day you see, along side the T/A, Love’s, and Flying J, Intrastate Logistic Restaurant & Fuel, LLC. I’ll be at the counter sharing a donut with John Ratzenberger.

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*name changed to protect the innocent from more stupid callers.  

And for the rest of you guys, this is what you get when I drop down to the 5th spot.

Written by InsightOut · Categorized: musings, on the road

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